From the moment we decided that I would stay home with the girls instead of returning to work as a high school teacher, I knew there would be some people who were going to question my decision. I also expected some people to assume that it was Brent’s idea, as it was his idea originally for us to move out to the country. The truth is, I wanted to stay home long before we moved out here. When Cece was born, I had tried to think of ways that I could work it out so that I wouldn’t have to go back to work. Unfortunately, at the time, Brent was just starting his own carpentry company, and it simply wasn’t feasible. So, once we had Penny and we had bought our forever home, I knew it was my moment to convince Brent I should stay home with the girls. I spent many evenings trying to figure out the best way to present my arguments and convince him.
It started with me dropping hints about how long the drive to and from my mom’s house would be and how much gas that would be using. He suggested that I look at daycares around the town or near the girls’ future school…swing and a miss. It did help my case however, that the daycare attached to their future school had a 5-year waiting period. To which my response was, well after 5 years they will be in school so doesn’t that make the waiting list rather useless? Then I started bringing up more often how it would be really tough to juggle the workload while still being present with the girls, which he agreed with and said the girls were the top priority and he would start running some numbers to see if we could make it work. This was my golden opportunity, my chance to seal the deal and make sure that he would agree that the best option was for me to stay home. I made up a budget for what we would need each month to make it possible, but I wasn’t going to leave it all up to the numbers. Oh no, I had a bigger bargaining chip up my sleeve, one that I knew couldn’t fail me…food.
As I was home with the girls, and Brent was working, I naturally made dinners during the week. Seeing as I was home all day, there was nothing preventing me from really having fun with it as I LOVE cooking and baking. Being home meant that some weeknights we had a full roast chicken dinner just because I felt like it. He would often come home to fresh baked goods because it was my way to destress while the girls napped. As they say, the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Although, in this case it would be more the best way to convince your man to take on all the financial obligations and let you stay home and be with your kids is through his stomach, but it really doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Now I am not sure if it was in fact my amazing feats of baking and cooking that sealed the deal, but right before Penny’s 1st birthday, we made the official decision that I would stay home and I sent in my resignation letter feeling completely sure of myself. Completely sure of myself until the next day when I started panicking that I had given up a good paying job that I liked to stay at home and eventually get into hobby farming, something that I had no experience with. It all seemed extremely daunting to me, and I questioned whether or not I would be any good at it, something I sometimes still wonder, but it was hands down the best decision I have ever made.
When I first started thinking about staying home with the girls, I thought about all the positives. I wouldn’t have a set time that we had to wake up at, I could plan out the days the way I wanted, I wouldn’t need to wear work clothes, I would have concentrated uninterrupted time with my daughters, and I would be able to become a master at hobby farming. First off, it is true I don’t have a set wake up time. Cece enjoys keeping me on my toes about when she will wake up, although it is generally around 1:30 am where she comes into my bed because she cannot stand to sleep in her bed any longer. The way she describes it, you would think her bed was this horrifically uncomfortable bed in a scary dark room, instead of the reality which is a twin bed with tons of stuffed toys, comfy pillows and a sound machine that doubles as a night light that plays soft music. So, my mornings start with Cece in my bed, and then waiting for the sound of Penny coming out of her room usually around 7:30 am. She meanders into my room, generally holding about 3-4 stuffed toys, looking completely unimpressed that she is awake.
As for planning out my days, Cece is never one to let me forget that wonderful task and asks me first thing in the morning: “What day is it?” Once I answer her, she responds with “What do we do on this day?” Without fail, every single day. The appeal of planning out my days in whatever way I wanted, quickly faded when I realised how tiring it is to give a plan of each day to a 4-year-old every morning. Particularly when that 4-year-old wants each day to be a “special” day and has zero qualms about telling you that your plan sounds boring. Now, in her defense, some days are boring. The days when I need to wash all the bedding, or do some deep cleaning around the house, I agree, boring. The plus side is that she also happens to find things that some would find mundane as very exciting. Both girls get excited whenever we must go to the Post Office. Simple tasks like going to get groceries is fun for them because they like to help me out and put things in the cart. Although now that Cece is older there are a lot more scheduled things that I have to plan around, rather than just choosing what I feel like doing that day. She is in preschool and gymnastics which takes up time and next year when she starts kindergarten, a schedule will be even more set in stone.
I will admit, not having to wear work clothes is one thing that actually did stay true, and although I know there are some moms out there who still get dressed up and do their hair and make up every day when they are staying home with their kids, and honestly kudos to those moms for managing that, I am so happy to get to wear comfy clothing all day. Now this is not to say that I wear my pajamas all day, far from it, but I enjoy not needing to worry about whether my clothes are professional enough. I rock a crewneck sweater and leggings or jeans most days. Now that the girls are older, it is certainly easier to find the time to shower, do my hair, even diffuse it (anyone with long curly hair will know what an incredible feat that is). I don’t find that I really wear much makeup anymore because I just don’t feel the need. The other day I put on mascara and Cece asked me why I was making myself “all fancy”. Then, of course, Penny wanted lip-gloss to be fancy as well.
As for the uninterrupted time with the girls, now that I am home all the time, I feel like there are always a million things to get done. We are home much more often now, which means that toys get taken out all day, meaning cleaning up the chaos piles is a daily task. I am not about to tell my kids that they can’t play or make messes with their toys, but having huge messes around the house also stresses me out. Believe me, I wish I could simply live in the chaos and not care, but I can’t, so I tend to be like a little cleaning bot that follows them. P loves helping me clean, she thinks unloading and loading the dishwasher is one of the best activities around, but my wonderful Cece prefers to jump from one game to the next with little thought of the mess. Having this time with the girls, however, has allowed me to be here with them for every new development. I never missed a single milestone with Penny, and it felt so wonderful. I get to be a part of all their games and see the girls playing together which melts my heart until one of them decides the other one isn’t playing properly and they both start yelling or crying.
Finally, as for mastering my hobbies and becoming a knowledgeable hobby farmer, that has yet to be determined. I have certainly had much more time for baking, which I absolutely love. I have had the time to make soft pretzels, bagels, breads, cakes, cookies, muffins and it fills me with joy seeing the girls and Brent enjoy them. Becoming a homesteader though, is a bit trickier. I have taken out books from the library about gardening, pig, cow, sheep and goat farming. But I feel like reading about them still will not prepare me for when we get our first cow or sheep. The process of even just looking for cow and sheep to buy is daunting: how much should we be paying for a bottle-fed calf? Should we get one that is already weaned, but would that be more expensive? How much should we pay for a lamb, and should we get a male and a female so we can grow our flock or just buy new lambs each year? I foresee this being a trial-and-error process, and I suspect it might come along with many tears. But just as I was sure of being a stay-at-home mom, I am sure I want to try homesteading, and I hope it will also become one of the best decisions I have ever made.
The Hopeful Homesteader 
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